Insomnia Kills

I’m certain that insomnia kills at some point. That reminds me…long before I was with Jax I had dated a Californian Camaro driver. Our romance had moments of great pain & beauty at the same time. We once made love on a rose bush farm near his grandparent’s house. Yes, it hurt – but it was so beautiful and sensual with those rose petals all over my body and their sweet smell hitting my sinuses.

I bring up my ex CC because once he went without sleep for 7 days after we dated and had to be committed as a result. He had seen “great beauty” and had miraculous discoveries (all of them useless once he got some sleep). About a year after CC and I split up he called me and said he hadnt slept for 7 days apparently. We’d split the year earlier due to the fact that he never opened his mail and it drove me totally crazy. Well, that and he also confessed that he never votes. Anyhow, he’d convinced family and friends that we had gotten back together (even though I hadn’t seen him for the whole year). He called me to meet for breakfast at 3:30am and told me all about the beauty of ants. He told me how they line up in a row and are the most amazing creatures ever. On his way to meet me for breakfast he drove back through the farm country (about two hours away) and showed up late that afternoon at his best friends place without his car. He had no idea where he’d left his car. He had no idea how he got to that house. All he knew is that he loved ants and was convinced we were still together. They never found his car and we never had breakfast. The moral of this story is that we all must get sleep or else everything gets all messed up pretty quickly! [true story by the way]. – sasha xoxox

Grapes and Toothpaste

I’m fighting insomnia while Jax is sound asleep. He had a hard job tonight trying to cheer me up. I tend to get severely depressed the first week after getting a new diagnosis plus I have the flu. Grapes and blueberries just don’t taste good when you’ve already brushed your teeth! It’s 4:30am and I’ve got insomnia..well, is it really insomnia if I’ve been sleeping all week? I definitely have had a crummy week.

READ ON FOR HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDING LETTER TO SASHA & A STORY:

“Hello Sasha, What peaked my interest is my fiance has RA, Chronic Pancreatitis and Interstitial Cystitis … all diagnosed in the past 9 months..” -Reader

“The commercial was on TV and there I was talking on the television about my bladder problems!!!” –True Quote by me–Sasha

I’ve also broken my cardinal rule and I’ve let this stuff really get to me this week. By “stuff” I mean the new diagnosis of hypothyroidism. Yet another very lovely autoimmune disease. So let’s see that makes: chronic pancreatitis (CP), rheumatoid arthritis (RA), interstitial cystitis (IC has been in total remission for the past 6 years), and now hypothyroidism. I’m a walking textbook of AI. I’m sure Jax wants to slap me into reality, but this week he’s been my cheerleader and trying to get me back on the right mental tracks. I can see he’s more distant though. I know he’s fed up with all of this. The trick for him is to stay engaged enough to deal with me – but distanced enough to protect himself. Being a caregiver can not be easy!!! I feel so sad that Jax is put in this position. it’s the last place I’d ever want him to be. I’d much rather be making mad, passionate love to each other in some swanky hotel in London….er..um… on a tropical island with no rain.

I got an interesting letter from a reader that made me so sad:  “Hello Sasha, Just read your Info from Jan. on SSI benefits & RA. What peaked my interest is my fiance has RA, Chronic Pancreatitis and Interstitial Cystitis … all diagnosed in the past 9 months. I am sure she would like to hear more from you. She is having a hard time coping with all this. Any insight would be great. Sincerely, Michael”

The letter made me think about how many of us out there must be dealing with
this biggest BS from autoimmune diseases. I certainly didn’t wish these upon
myself.  {Click to read the rest of this blog on topics such as thyroid,
Being a do-er, Getting nothing accomplished, and IC Diet}.–CLICK HERE–>