Phone Chat

Have you ever seen those late night ads for “sexy talk” or phone dates? It’s always a potentially but not hot woman talking several octaves lower than her normal voice. There’s always lots of hair, a couch, and cheesy lighting.

I was thinking how fabulous it would be to have one for the “Hot RA FoneChat”. The girl’s super hot, there’s the couch, the lighting but as she gets up to walk around with the phone – well, she has RA so she strains hard to get up using all of her might.

Her hands are red and swollen. “The talk is so hot”. Then you see her cane against the couch, temporarily unneeded. As she is finally up she limps with each sexy step. CUTAWAY to her dancing… (She’s watching everyone else dance) and

“we’ll have lots of fun together” as we see the couple with needles injecting Enbrel together. Cheesy smiles as they put on each others bandaids. Then, as the ad comes to a close and she’s back on the couch putting a cold pack or compress oround her arm, but she falls asleep as she gives the phone number – out of exhaustion of course.

Just a thought. –Sasha xoxo

Russian Roulette

I’m feeling gushy tonight: It’s gewshy not gushy actually. But maybe they’ll end up being the same thing. Jax and I just got back from a nice dinner out. Eating out is exactly like Russian Roulette due to my pancreatitis. If they lied about “no butter” then I’ll end up dead.

I figured out why my girlfriend’s boyfriend upset me so much. BTW – since he went to clown school I call him “clown boy”. It’s a funny ongoing joke in my family “oh, did you see clown boy?” Or my dad will ask if I saw “clone boy” (get it – the play on words?). I’m sure that clown boy is nice – but he always says the wrong thing to me. So I moaned about his comment “you won’t die from this, you’ll die from something else”, said as I was pacing in pain waiting for the meds to work and having a horrific pancreatic attack. I was trying not to end up in the hospital when I said it.

Mind you I was also limping from RA and truly wishing I was allowed to kill myself. Well- it made me furious because by saying “you won’t die from this…” made it clear he thought I was being overdramatic. It negated my whole horrific experience. Would you like to trade places clown boy? He doesn’t know the half of living with RA or CP.

I mean, and I will be graphic here, I can’t even masturbate anymore since my RA is so bad. Sure I could use a vibrator but it just isn’t the same!!!!

I guess I’m not feeling as gushy as I thought I was. The pain and boredom of limping has gotten to me. Pain so easily replaced by anger.

But Jax and I have had a lovely night out and he’s taking a little cute snooze while I type this on my phone. Jax should be in the caregivers hall of fame. “Dealt with lunatic girlfriend-5 gold medals sir!”.

Love sasha xoxo