Breaking The Ice

20 11 2007

veeabs.jpgTonight is my therapy session with Jax. I’m going to come out directly and ask how we begin to break the ice. Should we light candles and play sitar music? Should we read the kama sutra together? What other cheesy things could we do?

I have a lot of work to do between now and when I leave. I luckily have a client today. I’ve been so concerned that no work would come in this week. I also have a lot of pending work that requires my utmost focus. Plus it’s a pharmacy run day. I’m not a fan of the pharmacy.

Things have been tough this past week due to my own inadequacies and body image. I’ve never weighed this much and I’m not dealing with it very well. I do have a game plan to lose weight. Also, the prednisone dose is going down which will hopefully make a major difference. I’m 163 pounds today. My goal is to lose 4 pounds a week except holiday weeks where I’ll try to lose at least 3 pounds.

how i’ll do it: morning cereal (less portion). smoothie if still hungry with protein powder – no sugar – only fruit. afternoon – frozen health meal with limited calories. Snack – rice crackers. exercise- once a day for twenty minutes which seems to be my max.

I don’t know how Jax is dealing with my weight gain. I don’t look like myself. I feel like Bridget Jones.

I just want to be me again. I desperately just want to be me.

By the way, why do I keep reading this “Learn more about rheumatoid arthritis, an autoimmune disease that causes chronic joint inflammation, which has symptoms that include stiffness, fever, muscle and joint aches, loss of appetite, and fatigue…” Yet it is a lot harder to find info on people with RA trying to lose weight from the medications? I suppose most of them suppress appetite including the disease itself. I’ve never been heavy in my life and I’m just not dealing with it very well.

I just wish I could fast forward to the therapy session so I didn’t have to work today. hahahaha.

Now it’s time to kick some ass.





One response

21 11 2007

oh i know how that feels, i put on so much weight when i was on prednisone and now i am off it and struggling to lose the weight and dealing with the issues of low self esteem and body image problems. I keep telling myself it will get better and the weight will go eventually! Exercise helps and so does watching your diet. But its a lot to deal with when your also coming to terms with having RA and all that it means. I can really feel what your going through Sasha. I am so glad you found my blog, it would be good to have someone to share experinces with. someone who is going through it to.
keep smiling

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