I’ll get to the meds in one sec, but first…Creating this site has been an odd experience for me. I tend to think I don’t have the time for it… but this whole self-image and looking at myself has been interesting. I mean really interesting.
My weight has shot up in the past 4 days to 173. That means I have gained 10 pounds in one week. Is that even possible when I’ve hardly eaten because the methotrexate is doing a very nice job of making me feel like tossing some chucks across the room.
I went up on the dosage this week and have found myself dizzy and today while I was working I literally had to get home and just crash in the middle of the day. This is so unusual for me. Thank god I was working for my own company today otherwise I would’ve stayed at work and struggled not to throw up.
I’ve been exercising and doing as much as I can, but this is getting insane. How can it go up so much? Also, my legs and arms feel so swollen again. It makes me wonder if the methotrexate is working at all. I’ve gone down to 7.5mg of prednisone and it’s such a small dose I can’t imagine it is still having any effect on my weight. I recall only 4 months ago when I was on 60mg.
I feel so lost and not sure what to do. Most of all I don’t want to work tomorrow but I have a massive project due in the morning. I have to get the budget done for the project and submit it to my client. What a nightmare. I guess this is really life – feeling like utter crap but keep moving on. Also, Jax and I have been breaking the ice but I’ll have to write about it a different day. it’s 4:15am! Oh my gosh – after dinner tonight I went back to the computer to get stuff done for prep work for tomorrow.
I feel half way between the dead and the living! I was looking back at some of my medicine blues blogs (below). I just can’t understand how these meds are helping yet destroying my life. it reminds me of the time I had to take Demerol for pancreatitis for over a year. It made me truly lose my memory the entire next day. Also, I would essentially lose the next day of work because I couldn’t get up out of a coma-like sleep. I just want this to be over and move on. I am so ready (and also very excited about the current project I am doing).
-stressed – Sasha
ps – does anyone else have any idea what could be happening to me?
Medications – Not Fun (If you’re curious about what I have to take)