I begin Enbrel on Tuesday. I’ve decided to get the injections at the docs office… (I love my new doc)mostly so that i can have chance encounters with him more frequently on the advice of my godfather. I can’t wait because I can hardly get around again. The prednisone has worn off as has the methotrexate. (God that made me so sick). Jax has been having to help me out much more than usual. I feel bad for him that I feel like I’ve reverted back to when I was so useless and always in bed. I don’t want to be there again. Jax has had to help me put my shoes and socks on… help me out of the car, carry everything for me. I feel like a baby. at least he’s good about it and only talks positively like “this is temporary” and ” I know you want to carry this but…” and “it’ll be no time before you’ll be jumping all over the world again”. Also, couples therapy is Tuesday. I don’t have anything to talk about but I do want to talk about how Jax is able to stay with just me through this really hard time. I don’t bitch or complain or anything – I stay positive – but he can see it on my face that I’m in agony. He can see it in my body when I try to go up the stairs. How can we have sex when I feel like this? Also, I think I had an epiphany about god recently. Read on to hear about my new DIET!! and progress off of prednisone. I’m still at 173lbs but started a great plan for myself…
I started the Weight Watchers system and wish i knew to go on it when I was still on prednisone. It’s great. It helps you know how much is enough to eat. As you may know, I’ve NEVER had a weight issue before RA set in one year ago. I surfed, played hard, and moved fast. I ate almost nothing and weighed 115. Now I’m at 173 and want to cry! My clients don’t recognize me. It’s so embarrassing because I don’t want anyone to misunderstand the weight.
Read past prednisone entries by selecting “prednisone” in the right category section. I started the diet and exercise or clean house (which counts as exercise) as often as possible. I try at least 3 times a week. I got healthier snacks and have been eating less. My stomach had gotten so big on prednisone. I still don’t fit in my second wardrobe I got in December… but my January wardrobe (luckily all on sale) is starting to slide down my hips. I still weigh the same.. but I think it is getting redistributed.
Untreated at the moment, my RA is horrific. It hurts to hold Jax’s hand, it hurts to move or type… I don’t want anyone to touch me hard since it really just hurts. The swelling has begun and I’m in agony. I can’t wait for this to be the past. My doc really doesn’t want me on a steroid again since it did so much damage to my body last time. It’s true – I might be able to weather through this inability to move better than I have the mental agony of prednisone.
BTW – about my epiphany about god recently… I’ll have to explain it on a different day. I’m exhausted.
-yipppeeee, I’m going on Enbrel on Tuesday!!!! Sasha