As you know I’ve been battling with the massive weight I gained while on Prednisone. (40 pounds!) I’ve been on the weight watchers diet and also been really watching how much I eat. Now, 2 months out from last taking prednisone I’ve only been able to lose 2 pounds due to my inability to seriously exercise with RA still uncontrolled due to a snafu in my appointment to get more Enbrel. So… why do I call this “Sweet Thing”? Because even though I haven’t lost much weight – my body does seem to be going back to its old shape (thank God!). My breasts are luckily shrinking back into my regular bra size and I no longer feel like I can put my dinner plate on them rather than the table.
At work yesterday I got the greatest compliment from a client who only met me in December and never knew what I really look like. No moon face, no double chin, no extra bag of blubber at my belly…. and he said “wow! You’re looking really fit! Have you been working out a lot?” This is the nicest possible thing someone could say right now to boost my self-esteem. Plus my Enbrel starts again in a few days.
I pulled yet another 36 hour work day and am about to go to sleep. I still can’t seem to break my old ways of expecting my body to be up for anything. I know the consequence is losing my entire weekend to sleep…but I still just can’t seem to mentally give in to the fact that my body can’t keep up. In fact, without the Enbrel AND lack of sleep I know I’m killing myself or at least shortening it. The person who suffers for all of this stupidity is my Jax (read about to learn more about our relationship). It takes a big chunking toll out of our harmony when I do lame stuff like this. I’ve got to bacome less of a workaholic if I expect to be kind to myself. I just hate saying NO to work I love! -Sasha