I just returned from a huge trip and 4 presentations. They were about my work but also – by request, very personal about my journey. Many of the things were about my past that I don’t even have the courage to write about anywhere. Childhood abuse can be so destructive to everyone including the abuser. I’ve had a happy life despite the rages of anger from others running through it. What’s important is that now my life is calm and happy mostly. It’s lack of drama brings a deep joy to my mind.
Flying with RA. So, I’ve been back on enbrel a few weeks. I haven’t hit that “okay” point yet. I went to a science museum with some family and had to get a scooter since walking was almost impossible by sunday. The scooter battery dies after many rides for my nephew on my lap. He asked me “can you run?” I wondered if I could after a few more weeks of enbrel.
I swapped the scooter for the wheelchair and opted for the same at the airport the next day. My pancreas pump offers me a shiny medical card so I get handsearched. I prefer it. The wheelchair meant I was very late, but everyone was very sweet. I couldn’t go get a magazine or snacks – no Dunkin’ Donuts for my Jax. But by the 6th day of my trip I really couldn’t walk anyhow. Not without stumbling and looking like my ass got disconnected from my legs.
On my way out, Jax put an enbrel syringe in a ziploc bag with 2 icepacks. Jax rubberbanded it up and safely packed it in papertowels – it went fine. I brought my enbrel card in case.
Jax picked me up and helped me in every possible way. The only issue was getting told to “fucking move out of the way” by an impatient passenger. When I cried out ” I can’t you idiot! I’m not an able bodied person!!!” The stewardess moved me from the asshole and told me it takes all kinds. I called Jax to calm me down. What would I do without Jax?
So flying was okay, but I won’t schedule very much travel from now on. I’ve slept 3 days straight on my return. I messed up work as a result. I just couldn’t stop sleeping. Just like one of my readers/commenters writes – anytime you sleep for so long you get up very depressed. You feel like you’ve wasted your whole life. As if all of your obligations have fallen apart.
I have another huge trip in a week or so plus a month long trip in june. I’m mentally preparing myself but I hope the enbrel will be really working by then!!