I’m so pissed that I have to inject myself with a sharp needle twice a week. I believe that the needle is not my friend.
Jax is asleep and I should be too. I’ve been reading ravenously to take my mind off the pain, but tonight I gave in and took just enoigh to get out of pain (about 2 more pain pills than I usually ration out. I loathe the fact that I’m always in fear that I won’t make my supply last long enough.
That reminds me, this year I tried medical marijuana. In the hopes of getting my body to cooperate (or at least give me a break). But I must be wired backwards because all I got was paranoid and more acutely aware of how horrific the pain really is.
Once I met an acclaimed musician dx with MS. It was amazing to see how she refused to let it get her spirit. She said “I feel like I’m in an airport terminal and my body is trying to catch up to my soul 20 feet ahead” as if she was trying to catch up to herself. It’s an image I’ll never forget. I didn’t think that would come true for me also. It’s part of my everyday RA existence.
Love Sasha xoxo
Ps: send in reader comments and I’ll do another QandA session.