Needle: Walking Ahead of Myself

15 07 2008

I’m so pissed that I have to inject myself with a sharp needle twice a week. I believe that the needle is not my friend.

Jax is asleep and I should be too. I’ve been reading ravenously to take my mind off the pain, but tonight I gave in and took just enoigh to get out of pain (about 2 more pain pills than I usually ration out. I loathe the fact that I’m always in fear that I won’t make my supply last long enough.

That reminds me, this year I tried medical marijuana. In the hopes of getting my body to cooperate (or at least give me a break). But I must be wired backwards because all I got was paranoid and more acutely aware of how horrific the pain really is.

Once I met an acclaimed musician dx with MS. It was amazing to see how she refused to let it get her spirit. She said “I feel like I’m in an airport terminal and my body is trying to catch up to my soul 20 feet ahead” as if she was trying to catch up to herself. It’s an image I’ll never forget. I didn’t think that would come true for me also. It’s part of my everyday RA existence.

Love Sasha xoxo
Ps: send in reader comments and I’ll do another QandA session.




3 responses

18 07 2008

After 7 months of taking the needle twice a month, I still cringe at injecting myself. I will ice the heck out of my thigh and bite down on a towel to try to ward of the 10 seconds of horror that I have to go through. I thought I would be over it. NOT!! It still scares the hell out of me!!

16 07 2008

i was really intimidated/anxious about the needle at first, but then somehow, something switched, and i really don’t mind it now. in a way i kind of look forward to it-i guess because it’s working, so i feel like i’m doing something helpful for myself. one of my friends who is also on enbrel (for a different disease, though) had a horrible time struggling with it for about the first 6 months. she would just battle with herself over doing it. it’s almost like we create a whole complex, changing relationship between ourselves and the needle.

16 07 2008

Of coarse they should legalized medical marijuna it makes no sense not to, its medicine, it helps people, it doesn’t kill anyone, so why the hell should it be banned? A great source for medical marijuana can be found here

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