A few days have past since the 3 week point that my Jax split up with me. It’s always interesting how time often sheds new light on a situation. I’ve also been battling a cold, but I’ll take the Enbrel tomorrow regardless because I feel so swollen. I have to have 3 different sizes of shoes to be prepared for any stage of RA swelling.
I’ve been in touch via email with Jax’s mom the past year and a half. She’s hysterical and it’s clear she stirs up drama just so I’ll continue writing to her (Jax hasn’t talked to his mom since May). I have too much to deal with already between folding my company last month… I don’t think I ever even wrote about that. I literally lost everything all at once: a job, my company, my boyfriend, and … thank god I am getting it all over at once!
It has felt like my life is out of control. That is simply too many things to lose all at once! It’s also clear that Jax isn’t going to be moving back in anytime soon. It’s also painfully clear that he won’t even know what he wants in his life for at least 3 more months. So now that the dust has settled from the drama of it all, I will have to pour myself into work (even though I closed my company there is still tons of wrapping up I need to do).
The toughest part right now is that I lost my closest friends due to my diseases. I never had time to maintain those relationships and work. This is truly one of the hardest times of my life, but since the economy is in the tank – it is only making me a bit more depressed. My unofficial job is to keep my spirits high so that I don’t get sick again.
So now I’ll get some sleep and hope I don’t sleepwalk again!
Love, Sasha. xoxox