I’ve been feeling much more positive lately. I’ve been getting great help for my severe depression through one of the inpatient hospital programs here in Los Angeles. If I wasn’t in LA I honestly don’t feel I would be getting as much help. My whole life fell to pieces in September of 2008. My illnesses began to overpower my world. I lost the ability to stay on top of everything.
RA still kicks my arse and my joints hate me when I forget to take my enbrel. I even have reminders in my phone so that I don’t forget. Pancreatitis is getting a little better because I’ve been making my lunch and taking it to the hospital program. Now what I really need is time to look for a job. I hired two people to help me with my taxes. I can’t apply for disability without the past two years of them… and I am so behind – it’s pathetic. I’m not sure how my whole life fell apart, but I think that I got so overwhelmed with everything that I couldn’t keep up anymore. It was an evil combination of anxiety and depression. Apparently, they both hit frequently together. I fell behind on every single thing. I lost my self-esteem, my confidence, and any good thoughts I might have had.
I’m starting to put it all (my life and office) back together. I’ve got some interns on top of my helpers. In order to deal with my illnesses AND my office, I am forcing myself to nap halfway through the day. I can’t keep up like they can. I used to be able to work around the clock, but those days are gone. I am starting to chip away at my newly diagnosed Diabetes type 2. There are so many food limitations. I am hoping that by easing one disease down that perhaps I will help out the RA or Lupus at the same time.
I’ve really enjoyed my reader letters lately. Thank you so much for thinking of me and sending such nice messages. I hope to return the favor someday by writing nice things back.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about writing a book about my journey though these autoimmune diseases, but i’m not yet sure of the best angle. Does anyone out there have suggestions of the types of books you would read on the topic?
My hand is in too much pain to keep typing. Love you all, Sasha xoxo