27 10 2009

It;s no shocker that I have insomnia.  My doctor has actually given up on me.  I am going to confront him tomorrow about this issue.  Just because I have 4 chronic diseases is no reason to tell me that “some people just have to live with it and find alternate times to sleep”.  Bullshit!  I don’t believe that’s the truth!  I think he’s just totally given up on me.  I’ve tried so many different types of sleeping meds but after 2 car accidents I am very concerned.  The Dr’s said that the meds I already take for my health problems (mainly chronic pancreatitis) are conflicting with the sleep meds.  So does that mean we should throw the towel in and give up???  I have been sleepwalking for just over a year now and find it all so odd. Is it due to any of my medications?? enbrel? my intrathecal pump?

I am so tired of doctors that give up on patients that confuse them.  I’ve never said anything odd or strange in any of our appointments.  He’s luckily convinced that I am not bi-polar.  He IS convinced that I have sever PTSD – post-traumatic stress disorder from a very unlucky childhood/adulthood  that has been riddled with violence from other family members.  It’s so easy for the Dr’s to say that this is the cause of all of my health problems.  BUT this doesn’t solve anything.  In fact, it perpetuates the saga of not getting proper treatment. Plus I have no clue what to eat now that I’ve got CP AND diabetes.  Is there a list of foods to eat and to stay away from if you have BOTH of those diseases?  WHY is my body falling apart??

I’m so frustrated today and know that I’ve got to have my game-face on tomorrow.  Wish me luck!  BTW I’ve had a few emails from you readers out there that are going through a similar journey with multiple-chronic health issues and insomnia.  It is nice to know I am not alone  –  but the truth is that right now in my chair outside on the patio getting bitten by mosquitos – I am all alone.   I have to solve this issue almost alone.  (My Jax has offered to help if I need to call him in the middle of the meeting).


So one last note here- this one is about Jax, who is currently my ex-boyfriend – *sigh*.  Last weekend he told me that he doesn’t think we will ever get back together because he can never go through the trauma of my health issues the way he did when we were together.  BUT now he lives one apartment away and he sees the full picture now.  For some reason he thinks there is some secret pain that I expose when i am on my own.  There’s nothing I can do to convince him otherwise except to live my life to its fullest.  I want to become that old me again – that thin awesome go-getting me.  I am close to the go-getting me again – once I decided to live again and stopped begging to die.  I re-started my business and re-hired a new assistant last month.  I brought on interns and am kicking some serious ass.  BUT I am exhausted and have no time for anything again.  I can hardly keep up with the things that are urgent.  I’m massively behind on most everything.  I haven’t eve started on getting my SSI/SSDI paperwork together. UGH!! But back to Jax – –


Yes, a year has gone by since he split up with me and I am still in love with him.  We do so much together I don’t know how I wouldn’t be.  He’s on my team and in my court.  he still goes to critical Dr appointments with me.  I am moving on… but since I don’t know if I’ll live long or short – what should I do?? Give up and find another wonderful mate? Some say I should… others think it is better to continue loving the one mate that has always been there for me – and the hope is that he’ll eventually come around.  I’ll just say that it’s not looking good right now.  Jax seems pretty certain we won’t ever be a couple again.  I just said “your loss”!  And I mean it too.  He’s worried that I am too fragile.  Too fragile!!!! Not even close!  Think about all of the hardcore energy I’ve had to maintain in order to get my career back on its  feet again.   So I’ll focus there- on my career for the time being and hope I live long enough to see how this all plays out.

Love, Sasha  xoxoxox  Gonna try to sleep.



2 responses

20 11 2009

Hi Sasha, I’m sorry about all the troubles you are having with the doctor and not sleeping.

I feel I need to share with you some tips that you can use, or not, as you please, but things that really do make a difference.

Having had a difficult childhood it’s obvious that you have energy blocks, and, with energy blocks it is impossible for your body to remain healthy. As well, as you say, recently you suffered a break up with your boyfriend, this is very stressful on the body, continues your downward slide in health.

We have these energy blocks because it is how we survive through challenging times in our lives, the trouble is, they also create challenges in our health later in life.

When we suffer losses, or stress, we need to heal from this suffering to keep energy flowing through the body.

There are ways to successfully remove these energy blocks and get the energy flowing through your body again.

One of the most success means of doing this is a technique called EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques and you can learn more about that and begin on your own if you do a google search for EFT.

Another method is meditation. There are forms of meditation that are very easy to do, simply listening to sounds that put you into the desired brain wave patterns. I use Holosync Meditation but there are others that are less expensive to purchase.

Treating RA, or any immune challenge only with medication does little to solve the problem, in fact other problems always come up because we aren’t listening to signals from our body and responding, rather, we are trying to block the signal and go on with life.

I hope you’ll look into these things, I do believe either of them could help you.

15 11 2009

To all of you that are suffering with no help from the medical community as to what is wrong with you. I strongly urge you to seek help from a Nutritional Therapist. A Nutritional Therapist is trained by the Nutrtitional Therapy Association to identify the nutritional deficiancies that contribute to chronic conditions. Therapy includes improving the diet to include properly prepared nutrient dense whole foods as well as the use of supplementing when necessary to improve cellular function.
NTA’s philosophy is that the myriad of health problems that plague modern society result from weaknesses in the body’s physiological foundations as a result of poor nutrition. As an education organization, NTA is dedicated to helping individuals and healthcare professionals understand and reverse the tragic and unsuspected effects of the modern diet on their patients and clients.
I have recovered my own healthy by following these practices and am now training to become a nutritional therapist. There is an effective altenative to the empty frustrations of Western Medicine.
Please go to for a list of practicing nutritional therapists in your area.

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